Why do I think I want to be a writer? That is a very good question. One I think about incessantly every time I decide to share my writing with others. It’s one thing to jot down random thoughts, tiny stories, lazy meandering poems, but a novel? Really?
As a child, one of my first totally awesome gifts given to me was my typewriter, an electric typewriter. I was in heaven. I’d sit there for hours typing “The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy… is it dog or moon? The thousands and thousands of times I typed that sentence and the last word eludes me. Funny. Yet in all my efforts and desires to write a good crime novel or mystery/horror novel nothing else ever hit the pages except that goofy little typing practice.
Now, much older and hopefully saner I tend to do the exact same thing. Wonderful, witty thoughts fly at earth shattering speeds through the recesses of my brain. I reach for my journal or computer as the case may be. I can see the words, hear them flowing freely, eloquently. “Wow”, I say to myself, this is going to be a good one. I almost sound smart. Slowly I bring my hands over the journal or computer, ready to be a writer. Then…nothing. Nothing at all!!
Wait! What? What was I going to write? Where did it go? You were all here at the gates of my brain waiting to unleash a profound piece of human thought but no, they’ve all abandoned me, all of them. Scattered to every dark and dusty place. They’ve left me with blank spots. Hiding. Waiting. Come out, come out where ever you are. Olly Olly Ox and free!!
Why do I want to be a writer?
Because, I have something to say even if I haven’t quite chased it down yet. That’s why this month especially is exactly what I needed. Nanowrimo is freeing my from the pressure that the word I choose “now” has to be perfection. Just get them out!!! I can re-write in December. And January. And February, etc…
So, I will not give up this time. Quitting is not an option for me anymore. I will finish writing what wants to be written. I will get out of my own way long enough to listen to the words before they slip into oblivion. Besides I’m getting too old to care so much. I simply want to create and enjoy the process.
Thanks for letting me share. In case you’re wondering, I’ve picked the name Kinetic Wings for the outlet of my creativity because it means energy in motion, being free, no boundaries. It’s perfect in it’s allowing me creativity without fear.
Good luck to all Nanowrimo’s!! Let the creating commence!!