Here is a moment truth. After reading some of my earlier posts I decided that I’m full of sh**. There’s too much preaching about writing and following your my dreams that I decided I sound sort of stupid. Look, to be honest, I’ve been in pissy mood for quite sometime now. There’s way too much going in my life and I’d really like it if I could go dig a great big hole for myself to hide in, or maybe I could find a nice dark damp cave and hang out with the bats for a while. Either way will work for me. Instead, I’ve written about how a writer has to be honest with the reader, a writer must put their heart and soul into the entire creative process. Blech… Yes! We must do that every single time we venture into our own creative space but that isn’t what I’ve done, I’ve been lying. I’ve pretended, and at least for today, my truth is I don’t think I know anything about anything. There, I said it.
I don’t have the first clue how to even find my creative space let alone venture into it honestly. Most days I’m looking through the window of my imagination at all the pretty little things in my creative mind but the door is locked and the key is missing. I’ve searched everywhere for that damn key. I’ve met some pretty awesome people along the way yet when I ask them if they know where my key is they look at me like I just spoke in jibberish. As people we don’t fit one particular mold so why do I think I have to? I’ve convinced myself that I must belong. Belong to what and with whom, is the question of the day. I don’t really know and that makes me laugh. A really big belly laugh. Me continually try to impress people I don’t know is the bane of my existence.
Some people say everything happens for a reason and exactly when it’s suppose to happen. I’d like to hit those people over the head. No. Not really. Things do happen for a reason I’m just not sure what the reasons are yet but recently there is a topic popping up in many of the blogs I read that piques my interest. Many say that creating a manifesto is one of the most important things we can do in our lives. It’s the new buzzword. A manifesto is a declaration of personal principles and intentions for our own lives. A list of what matters most to us and the rules we intend to live by. Could it really be that simple? A manifesto to put myself back on track? To give me some direction?
Maybe I don’t know what I really stand for or what is really important to me. (I know…cue the choir music.) I don’t know if writing a manifesto will be the key either but it’s worth a shot. And if that doesn’t work I’ll have a shot. A great big shot of tequila without the salt and lime. Seriously, this is what I like about the word manifesto. It is a declaration, it is an intent. Those are some pretty powerful words. When some people make a declaration it is as good as a signed contract, as good as gold, or as good as a spit handshake. For procrastinators and people with ADD, like me, this is a problem.
My homework assignment for myself the rest of this week is to come up with my manifesto. Yay! Only letting the most important principles and intents make the list. I’m going to focus on who I am and where I want to go. I’m going to search for that beautiful diamond encrusted key that will open that cute little shop I’ve been window shopping at and I’m going to stop being afraid.
Do you know where your key is? Do it with me. Write your own manifesto. Come back here and share it.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.