SOMETIMES I’M MAD…

Here’s what I know…

Sometimes I’m mad at you because

We don’t know who we are

Or where we come from

And who’s fault is that

I was five years old when

La Raza

Shook the city, 

voices rose up

screamed

for justice, for equality

La Raza

Only a few miles away

And yet I never knew

Why?

You wanted us to be proud

Of who we were/are

But we knew nothing of those people

We didn’t know

East L.A. to the Valley

Might as well have been different planets.

There. Here.

Here. There.

I had a voice I could have used

I wasted and lost.

So yes, sometimes I’m mad at you

I feel ignorant

Lost

Without identity

I didn’t recognize mi familia,

ALL the beautiful textures and colors.

I had a voice before I became afraid to use it.

I didn’t see those people are me.

Here I am fifty years 

after La Raza, 

Finding my voice

In the borderlands

La frontera

Once again the people

our people

Rise up 

speak out

demand justice

Against the inhumanity

The degradation

Another holocaust

Seen by those who see

And I

I will always live 

On a wall

Of two worlds

Here, there

Me, them

I carry two worlds in my heart

Mi corazón

And the only way for me 

To know my story

Is to know their story

You’ve been gone a long time now

Crossed a different border

One I too will cross 

For now

I’ll sit on this wall 

In the borderland

Of my own life

A witness

Breathe in the rust earth

The earth of my ancestors

My people

Our people

I listen for their whispers in the wind

Their prayers in the rumbling thunder

Imaginary boundaries

Unless you listen with your heart

 

~JK ©2020

 

Quiet

The rain falls gently outside the barred window.

The whoosh of a car on a wet road.

I am snuggled in bed, the dogs at my feet,

And I wait for the storm approaching. 

One that will join the storm raging 

Already here

In this room

In my mind

These days it’s difficult to leave the house

To feel the yellow sun 

Or the breath of mother earth 

across my skin

The storm is coming but for now

It’s quiet

The way I like it.

Only the voice in my head most days

Drowning out the ones I run from

I watch the world go by through barred windows

And wonder 

Am i keeping the boogeyman out

Or keeping the boogeyman in

No matter

I am snuggled in bed, the dogs at my feet

As the rain falls gently outside the barred window.

 

-jk ©2020

Whiskey + Moonlight ©

I’m falling slipping, dripping, caught in a riptide, a sink hole. A whirlpool; an Ekman Spiral. I level my gaze on a horizon that sways. Your pain. My pain. A silent tug of war. 

The hallway outside the apartment smells like onions and garlic. For the moment I feel excitement. Inside, it’s quiet. Only empty bottles and dirty dishes. A note: sorry I missed you. You know how it  is. Hope you don’t mind… The acrid smell of a spent cigarette at the bottom of a glass. A small dandelion dangling on the edge of an empty beer bottle. So fragile. Too many wishes that don’t come true. I leave; walk, anywhere. 

juliet 🥃+🌑

Whiskey + Moonlight © Day 12

But today is a new day. A science podcast plays in earphones snuggly placed; something about giving up alcohol for better sleep, less suffering, a habit to kick… For me, the soothing golden liquid helps me with my job–ha, I’m deluding no-one but myself–it requires not only attention but creativity. At the local bookstore I arrange the displays, moving things from here to there…tedious, all-consuming attention.

Then there’s you. I remember when we met, laughing and talking as we drove to meet the first light of day. Only us under the underpass. Tucked in your arms, incandescent waves radiated. And where are you today? Not here. I long for your touch, your breath, your smile. Your picture grips my attention. A breath escapes me. You are my screensaver. You are my life saver, hard and sweet.

“Oh hey,” a colleague says, opening the door.

Here’s to another day on displays.

Juliet 🥃+🌓

p.s. Future posts of Whiskey + Moonlight are going to be spread out a bit more. A story is funny that way, constantly changing and growing into what it wants to be. I won’t necessarily post every day, although I might. So stay tuned as the story continues… If you are enjoying the story so far, please leave me a comment and say hello. As always, thanks for stopping by.

#Whiskey+Moonlight©2019 #fiction #prose #poetry #romance