i can’t seem to find my way
alone in the darkness
a cocoon of pain sticks to my body
like hot oil
searing unseen scars deep within my flesh
silent words slither around my brain
seek shelter among the ashes and soot
a lead weight sits upon my chest
i’m almost there
at home with my despair
i climbed as far as the eyes can see
but now I crawl deep into the earth
in search of my door, of silence, of peace
alone in the darkness and solitude
alone with myself in the cold damp earth
i have found my way…
I have the good fortune to be included in an amazing writing group with some very accomplished women. Since I’ve re-discovered this path I have chosen to take I’ve been faced with having to battle a really tough demon. The demon I speak of is self-doubt. That voice that continually whispers in my ear that my writing will never be good enough. The last two weeks were exhausting. I almost threw in the towel until I remembered why I decided to try my hand at writing again. The reason is: because writing makes me feel the most me. Writing is like a marriage…for better or for worse I am going to write.
I’ve noticed how many people out there have the same worries and self-doubt that I do. It’s nice to know I’m not alone, that none of us are alone. Also, I’ve noticed how many of these same people are so willing to reach out and help others. I’d like to share some links to websites that have helped me tame those voices and get on with the joy and passion I have for writing.
So without any further ado and in no particular order:
1. The Grammar Girl – Pretty much self-explanatory. She answers all questions grammar related in a fun and easy manner.
2. The Deadline Dames – Various authors who blog about their writing and their inspirations.
3. Away with Words by Olivia Tejada – Great information and links. She also runs #SilentWriters on Twitter. It’s a group that gets together on twitter Tuesday evenings at 9pm eastern and pacific time. Great camaraderie and support. It’s one full hour of non-interrupted writing. Just grab your snacks, drinks, and your ideas.
4. Consistently inspiring writers: Lilith Saintcrow – Devon Monk – Rachel Resnick – Tony Lea Andrews I’ve gotten invaluable information and inspiration from these ladies.
5. Write it Sideways – Excellent writing advice.
6. Poets & Writers – I’ve signed up for their weekly writing prompts sent through e-mail. Great inspiration when you feel stuck.
There are many more I’d like to list but those will have to wait for another post.
So today is the day I put my foot down and say “No more doubts!”. From this day forward I am in control of my destiny. Today, I’m going to speak louder than that voice of self-doubt. Today, I am going to give my words energy. Today, I’m going to fight that demon word for word.
I hope you get inspired!
The first three words I chose were different words. They were good words just different. I happened to look down at the rubber bracelet I had made over the holiday’s and felt like a dummy. The bracelet reads: laugh often, love much, believe always.
My three words. All pretty much self-explanatory.
I’ve stamped these words into some jewelry pieces I made last year and they’ve become part of my daily creative life process. I’ve tried to share these words. They have energy. They have power. They have freedom. They inspire me.
When I read these words I remember that I can. I remember that I have people in my life who believe in me. This gives me hope. I am loved. I am free to live each moment to the fullest, enjoying the wonders that are given to me. I can see the humor of our lives in the beauty of our lives. We are all possible of so much more than we realize.
I choose to reach out and live it.
***I neglected to say that this post was inspired by a post I read today written by Steffan Antonas.***