The rain falls gently outside the barred window.
The whoosh of a car on a wet road.
I am snuggled in bed, the dogs at my feet,
And I wait for the storm approaching.
One that will join the storm raging
In this room
In my mind
These days it’s difficult to leave the house
To feel the yellow sun
Or the breath of mother earth
across my skin
The storm is coming but for now
The way I like it.
Only the voice in my head most days
Drowning out the ones I run from
I watch the world go by through barred windows
Am i keeping the boogeyman out
Or keeping the boogeyman in
I am snuggled in bed, the dogs at my feet
As the rain falls gently outside the barred window.
The death of Amy Bleuel side swiped me. She was a light in this dark world. She gave people hope, the belief that they mattered, and that their feelings were important. Since I learned of her passing, the idea of posting these 365 day posts seemed… unimportant. In my sadness, I realized I may be closer to my purpose than I ever have been. The thing about purpose is that it can cause tension, pain, and nervousness. I’m not sure exactly where, how, or in what ways this blog will continue, but it will continue. Emotional turmoil and trauma is real. For too many people. Just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t cut to the core with razor accuracy. Amy’s passing was a collision of trauma, pain, and truth. Today I give my voice permission to speak and carry on, in some small way, her vision. So bear with me. My blog is still about writing words on the page, following my dream of being a writer, but now will also be about pulling words from the dust and depths of the unspoken and allow them to be heard.
You are not alone.